9 Characteristics of the Upscale Abuser

suit & tie

While each situation is different, there are several important traits unique to the upscale abuser. He may exhibit some, or all, of the traits outlined below.


  • The abuser believes he is “special” and “entitled” or above the law.
  • The abuser tends to blame his partner for any mishap or bad feelings he may have about himself.
  • He has a grandiose sense of self-importance and the kind of treatment he deserves.
  • He believes in using  power and leverage to “get away” with a lot, such as:
    • Using his influence as leverage to keep his partner in the marriage
    • Using resources to wage legal battles which are often frivolous and without merit;
    • Using vicious suits to obtain custody of the children.
  • The abuser is charming but interpersonally exploitative.
  • The abuser is self-absorbed and lacks empathy for others.
  • The abuser needs to be in control of others in every situation.
  • The abuser requires excessive admiration and recognition.
  • The abuser’s demands about how his partner should look or behave are not necessarily clear, and are usually impossible to meet.